Brain guilt

This is how my brain works 90% of the time: Amy Amy Amy why aren’t you doing work? You should be producing something tangible with your short time on earth and limited awake time, don’t know know your spend like a third of your time asleep? Stop looking at videos of sausage dogs on youtube and do some proper work… why haven’t you emailed that person about that important thing? Why haven’t you written that review paper you’ve been thinking about for the past 3 months, but mostly only when you can’t actually do something about it like when you’re on the bus or at the gym or buying food? Oh look a video of a sausage dog dressed as a fire truck…

I have about a week to finish off my grant application for this year, and it’s basically finished, but as I’m me I keep (metaphorically) going up to it and poking at it with a stick. As if by deleting 3 words from the “role of personnel section” will make the funding panel go – “Ah, now this work has become ultimately more fundable – here Dr Reichelt, have half a million dollars”. But still, I persist in changing tiny aspects of it, then become enraged when it goes over the page limit, as there is some critical load bearing word that wants to fuck it all up for me if I change anything.

Regardless, yesterday I got a paper review back on some work I submitted at the start of the year. Reviewer 2 made me feel warm and fuzzy, reviewer 1 made me feel like poop, so I am ignoring that for a while as when I look at the word document I have created to compose my responses my brain starts to throb behind my right eyeball. Speaking of which, I nearly blinded myself yesterday when frying an egg, luckily my unconscious blink reflex saved me from getting hot oil spat in my eye. Note to self, wear goggles when perfusing rats.

Other things. It was stupidly cold here last weekend. And then it snowed and my snowboots leaked (fuck you crappy outdoor shops) so I had to buy new boots which I am assured will cope with the black coloured slush that Toronto creates within 2 hours of snowfall. I will wear them every day for the rest of my time here and rejoice in my non-damp socks. I also hate my coat. For some reason I thought buying a purple check ski jacket was the way forward as it would conjure up cheery images. No. I should have gone with my spirit colour – black. I also hate having to wear a coat to go outside. However, I am still in possession of both of my gloves, so in that respect I’m doing pretty well (I’ll lose one now).

I have conditioned the local squirrels to expect food every day after feeding them copious amounts of pizza and bread crusts. My ability to induce obesity in rodents now spans species and continents.

That’s basically the sum of what I’ve been up to. Other than firing lasers at brains and imaging live neurons…

Whaaaaat? You want to see a video of a sausage dog dressed as a fire engine??? It’s a slippery slope people…



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